WARNING: This blog contains conversations about my life. It can be cruel but it's the truth from the way I percive it. I don't always use nice words and sometimes I share a little bit too much. I don't put on a happy face in the midst of hard times because that's what inspires others. If you have an issue please navigate away from this page now.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Oh Baby!

It is safe to say that the two week wait is over and I am not pregnant. =/ I have mixed feelings about this. I now get to spend my 21st birthday like it should be spent and the next three months can be completely spent focusing on school. But I want a little baby so badly. I never imagined I would want one for the next five years, but I do. I never dreamed it would be this hard to conceive either. B and I tried every month for 6 months before he left for basic and nothing. Obviously the Navy has handicapped the process since then. However, we have continued to try everytime we are together and as far as I know everything lines up. Im ovulating on time and still getting nothing. I know I am healthy and able now we are getting concerned that B isn't able to provide children. I will be crushed if we aren't able to have a baby.

I'm finding that everyone around me is pregnant and it's starting to piss me off. Why are the "women" who are 16 able to get pregnant but not me? What about the people who trick their partner into having a baby by telling them they are on the pill but really aren't? And the women who have these babies and then the dad bails or the mother doesn't tell the father? And for god's sake why in hell are the couples who have to be on state aid to support their 3 babies able to get pregnant? It seems so unfair. There are so many people I know and see who treat their children like crap and can't support their children and they had no problem getting pregnant. What about the "oops" babies? Where they only kept the kid because abortion seemed wrong and they didn't mean to get pregnant? If you're going to be a good parent and support your child on your own I'm totally fine with the "oops" but if you're not going to be able to do that don't have sex or use pretection because for Christ's sake there are people out there that struggle trying to conceive and it pisses them off to see you using your child as a meal ticket and treating them poorly. Plus, they shouldnt have to pay for something you should be responsible for.

My rant is over for now!

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